Monday, August 15, 2011

Handfasting: Joining our hands and our hearts

  • "Handfasting" was the word used by the ancient Celts to describe their traditional trial-marriage ceremony, during which couples were literally bound together. The Handfasting was a temporary agreement that expired after a year and a day, however, it could be made permanent after that time, if both spouses agreed.
  • "Handfasting" was the word used throughout the once-Celtic lands of Scotland and Northern England to refer to a commitment of betrothal or engagement. It was a ceremony in which the couple publicly declared their intention to marry one year and a day in the future.
      For me and my fiance, our Handfasting will be a celebration to announce our engagement to be married in one year and one day. As you all should know by now, I am a practicing Wiccan and this handfasting is very important to me. My fiance is a non-practicing Pagan, meaning that all the beliefs are there but there are no rituals or worship. She calls this being a 'Lazy Pagan'... which makes me laugh.
      Although my fiance is a 'lazy pagan' she is willing and even eager to be handfasted with me. I did not want to take over the whole handfasting (and our future wedding) and just do everything 'I' wanted, because I am not that kind of person. I believe marriages (as well as weddings) are about BOTH the partners and not about one or the other. And since our handfasting is the joining of both of us, I thought it was important that we both be included and involved in the planning and preparations.

      We sat down and discussed what we each wanted and didn't want for our handfasting ceremony, and we agreed on all the details. Although I am doing the majority of the planning, that is because I am the planner of our relationship, and it has always been that way with every party or vacation that we have gone on, and I like it that way. I get a lot of joy out of planning a party and seeing it come to fruition. And it fills my heart with happiness seeing our friends and family have a wonderful time at one of my parties.
      I am also the one who loves to do research and find out all the information I need about a certain subject I am interested in. So it was only natural that I be the one to plan our handfasting.
      First we agreed upon the theme. We both really wanted it to be Renaissance themed. My fiance is in love with the Ren fair. I was thrilled with this theme because I also love it, and I find the clothing to be both beautiful and magical, and it worked very well with the colors we picked out. Our color scheme was also very easy to choose. My fiance chose Red (Crimson) and Black, and I chose Purple and Silver. So our colors are Red & Purple with Black & Silver accents. (I originally chose Green over Purple, but I did not want our handfasting to look like a Yule celebration, and Purple is my second favorite color (and I think it looks prettier with Red anyway), so Purple it is. I am very happy with the colors of our handfasting, and they will also be the colors for our wedding as well.
      We also agreed on the other details we would like for our handfasting, such as our flowers (My fiance chose Roses and I chose Lavender), ringing the bell before the ceremony, burning incense, exchanging vows and rings, jumping the broom, as well as what music we would like to play and what foods we want to serve to our guests.
      The foods were easy to pick as well. I wanted the food to be very 'Autumn' because I love the foods of Autumn. Roasted root vegetables, and hearty foods such as squash are my favorites. And Apples are my fiance's favorite fruit. So since we are having Autumn Foods in autumn (Technically the last few days of Summer) we can eat locally. I love to eat locally because it is more environmentally friendly, as well as more fresh and delicious. We will also be supporting local farmers by buying from them instead of large grocery stores.

      Yum, I am looking forward to the food. It is going to be a semi-potluck, and our family members have offered to bring some of the items.
 Our Menu:
  • Roast Chicken (Fiance's Mother)
  • Vegetarian Dish (Don't know what it will be yet (My Mother)
  • Mashed Butternut Squash (Fiance's Father)
  • Roasted Potatoes and Vegetables (Me)
  • Apple Cider
  • Sparkling Cider
  • Hard Cider Punch (Me)
  • Cake (TBA)
  • Other desserts (TBA)
I can't wait, We are having our year and a day Handfasting on September 16th 2011.
*We are getting Married on September 16 2012. Luckily 2012 is a leap year, so there is already an extra day in the year, so we do not have to hold our handfasting on Sept. 15th in order to make it a year and a day.*

      Why is September 16th so important you ask? September 16th 2005 marks the day of my fiance's and my first kiss. We met in Collage, and the first week or so we got to know each other both on campus as well as online. We spent so much time together, and I remember one day I was waiting for my mom to pick me up from school (I do not drive). Kellie (My now fiance) was hanging out with me in the campus lounge while I waited for my ride. Her friend offered her a ride home since they lived across the street from each other, so I said goodbye and sat alone in the lounge. But something made me stand up. I heard her voice echo down the hallway, and I followed. I swiftly walked out the front doors and saw her standing by the bus stop with her friend. I walked right up to her and we kissed. It was wonderful. My heart was fluttering, and I felt giddy. The shuttle bus pulled up, and she had to leave. I stood at the bus stop and waved for a minute, then walked back inside. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day, and I couldn't wait to go home so I could start up my laptop and Instant Message her.
      It was magical, and I hope to always remember that day. We use the day of our first kiss as our anniversary because it marked the day that we were officially a couple... sealed with a kiss. We have been together ever since that day. We will be handfasted on our 6th anniversary, and will be marrying on our 7th anniversary. I am so blessed to have found such a wonderful person.
      Although we have been together for almost 6 years now, we still celebrate every month together. On every 16th of the month we wish each other a happy anniversary and do something special. Go on a little date, or have a nice dinner together, or just spend some time watching TV together. Our love has grown stronger over the years, and I look forward to sharing it with our family and friends on our handfasting day.

Stay tuned for more information on our handfasting. I have started making the handfasting cord, so I am planning a special blog post about that in the near future.


  1. I love that story!!! And I love you! And I cannot wait to marry you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Yay! I love you too my love, and I cannot wait for our handfasting and our wedding!!!! You make me so happy, and I can't imagine my life without you.